blue sky

Home       Display       HandyHints

Couple sitting on a bench
keeping them alive and well

As the old saying goes, you can't pick your relatives, but who you choose to befriend is up to you. In the main, we humans are social animals, tending to keep company with others of our kind for a variety of reasons. Whether at home or work, relaxing, playing a sport, even exercising, most of us prefer not to be alone. There are, of course, the exceptions such as jogging and the appreciation of those quiet, private moments, plus the need of the odd (no slant intended) intrepid adventurer who gets a buzz from sailing solo around the world; but all eventually return to the bosom of society and are usually glad to do so. To make the most out of any relationship, a certain amount of effort goes into forming it in the first place, then much more to keep it the way that suits its purpose. Unfortunately, we don't always treat each situation as unique, rather employing a similar modus operandi for the lot. Unlike stretch clothing, one size doesn't fit all. An approach or attitude that works well with a group of people may be inappropriate for a tete a tete; and any relationship will change over time, often without notice.

The family unit is a classic example of continuing relationships that start out one way and evolve into something totally different over time. This has as much to do with the environment outside as the individuals within the family. To begin with anyway, there is no family, just a couple of people who choose to live together. Initially, they presume they are compatible and will soon discover whether this is so. There will probably be a period of adjustment and more than a few compromises to keep the relationship running smoothly. Should it turn out that only one is making the changes while the other is carrying on in their own sweet way, maybe not so sweet in some instances, their relationship is either destined to failure or, at best, will not be a mutually happy one. If this is the case, with luck they will decide to call it a bust before taking the relationship to the next stage. It is not hard to imagine how a rocky or one-sided partnership will influence the family of which it is to be the foundation. Hopefully, however, both parties will have an earnest desire to please simply because it pleases them.

How two people come to meet shouldn't matter; how they continue does. Frequently, the relationship begins in the company of others - a casual meeting of friends, at a party, maybe in the workplace, or at the bus stop. That environment will influence the initial approach, the first words and what happens immediately afterwards. Even if they have been acquainted for some time, stepping up to this new and more personal level requires each to test the water, neither being sure exactly who their prospective partner is. Will they behave the same way they do in company, or temper their words and actions to please only one rather than anyone else present at the time? An individual who is normally loud and boisterous and continues to display this over-confidence while talking to the person they are trying to impress could care more for their social standing than the relationship they are trying to nurture. By toning down their brash behaviour when conversing with just one of a group, they are showing consideration for that person and are apparently prepared to adapt as necessary, despite what others may think or say.

A brief word of warning here: friendships made and conducted via the Internet are quite common these days but, unless they have already met face to face, neither party can be certain that the one they are apparently developing a relationship with actually exists: they may be a complete fabrication. Sadly, there have been too many instances of broken hearts and worse simply from trusting an electronic profile that can't be authenticated. Anyone participating in online chat should be very cautious.

See next page for Part 2

Click this Click for PDF file image to view or print complete article.

  Top of page

Home   Display   Money   Health   Focus   HandyHints   Popcorn   Recipes   eBooks   About   Contact

copyright © 2011-2015  All Rights Reserved